Amiss

Doesn't it hurt to wake up everyday to something that you just hate?

Is it worth the effort to be doing something that you just don't really have a passion for anymore?

Do you feel like you just give up without even trying?

These might be some of the many questions I keep asking myself lately. And honestly, I don't have any definite answers to any of them.

I've always considered myself to be one of those diligent person. I would set some goal to myself and try hard just to prove that I can.

But something happened and I am feeling nothing more than just defeated. I tried very hard to let it go and pushed myself very hard to think of positive thoughts but I just couldn't come up with any.

Then I start to ask all of these other questions.

What is it exactly that you wanna do?

Should you just sleep on it and let go?

Is it worth to give it another try?

Again, I'm stuck in between yes and no that seems to contradict with each other on so many level and circumstances.

Change, yes perhaps that's the key. I should imply some changes. Perhaps in me and what I do or don't do. But where should I start?

Courage, they don't sell this in the supermarket do they? Self-esteem and courage always go together and never really as separate entities. But they were no where to be found.

So I said to myself, I'm gonna take some time to think things through. I've tried to talk about it but seems like nobody could really understand. I myself couldn't really understand what the dilemma was all about. I do know something is amiss.