Shattered

Learning the truth hurts
Finding out about you
Knowing me and my dreams
Everything just stops
For a moment the world crashes
Into pieces it shatters
Back when I was daydreaming
I thought it's too perfect to be real
And a believer I was
Now my senses are numb
I can't even trust my instincts
And the million hopes fade
Sooner or later I will find my way
Out of this daydream
Though I know deep inside
Somethings you just can't erase
And I'm telling myself
You'll be OK again

Magnetic

You could have just said Hello
And it would have sounded magical
Every time I tried to pull myself away
Your magnetic presence drowns me in
I don't appreciate the silly little games
But I missed it when you're not around
Your teasing is nothing new to me
Yet I get excited and intrigued
Being smart is to walk away
But I'm all lost in this twisted forest
I don't mind gambling in danger
No matter how careful one is
Everybody falls without notice

I wanted..

Brief encounter

Selfranting

I just feel like the need to write this down. Some way or some place. 

So here it goes. 

It just struck to me these feelings or questions you likely to have when a relationship is over. 

"Oh i'm never gonna find somebody else"

"I'm gonna be alone"

"Nobody will treat me the same way"

Yes i experienced the same thing. Once. Or maybe twice. Or more. 

Well that's not the point. 

If i could go back and tell myself how silly i sound like, i totally would've. 

Here's the thing, breaking up is hard. Getting over it is even harder. 

But once you passed the grieving process, everything will turn out fine. 

You will look at things in a different light. 

Some for the good. And maybe different for others. 

Look, all i'm trying to say is to be positive as it will get better. 

You wil have better judgement of things and hey, singles have fun too (in their own way). 

Having all those negative thoughts is just self demotivating and you never wanna look hurt or weak in front of your exes. 

The last thing you wanna do is having him or her look at you as pitiful. 

The one..

The one that hurts the most

The one without proper closure

The one that drives from miles away just to see you

The one you argue the most with

The one with the most patience

The one that turns you into a sad poet

The one you share your favorite songs with

The one that gets you

The one you regret the most

The one you wished it would have gone the other way round

The one that teaches you the most

The funny one

The one that reminds you a lot of yourself

The one you feel sorry for

The one that lasted for 5 months

Goodbye..

Today is the day I want to remember for the rest of my life. It marks the lost of a woman I truly, truly love. My grandmother, or better known as Opah. She's been in my life for as long as I could remember. She was a tough soldier, battling through each day with courage and faith, especially for the past 5 years. I'm not totally saddened by her lost. Believe it or not, I'm more relieved, or should I say, liberated by this, because it ended her suffering. Though I've prayed everyday she would soon recover, I just couldn't lie to myself that to watch her lying helplessly just breaks my heart. I know we're not completely disconnected. She may be far from the world I've come to known and love, but distance is not a problem, as I believe we're watching over each other every single day. She's my angel now. I will miss all those moments we've spent together. I'm the closest to her and probably spoiled in every way you could possibly imagine but I do not regret any of it. I've cried my tears and made peace that she's gone in my life almost 5 years ago. And today, I get to witness her closure. Salam Opah, till we meet again. Missing you :)